City Research Online

Abstract

Queer men who encounter intimate partner violence (IPV) have often been under-researched in the wider literature on relationship violence, and their understandings of their experiences have remained largely opaque, particularly when it comes to understanding the emotional experience of IPV. This is despite research conducted with heterosexual men demonstrating that straight male victims of IPV often experience intense feelings of shame in the aftermath of their experiences. In contrast, no research has yet examined how Queer men navigate negative, shameful affects in the aftermath of their own encounters with violent male partners. This article will address this gap in the literature through analysing data gathered from 40 semi-structured interviews with Queer male victims of male-perpetrated IPV in the UK. It demonstrates that Queer men who experience IPV often report intense feelings of both shame and self-blame, identifying their status as victims as a shameful social identity that opens them up to stigmatising stereotypes of weakness, passivity and vulnerability. Moreover, this shame is gendered and sexualised, with Queer men seeing victimhood as a state of failed masculinity that invalidates their positions as men and reinforces negative stereotypes about Queer masculinity. The article concludes by arguing that the data demonstrate both that shame expresses itself in unique formulations based on the social positionality of an individual and that Queer male victims thus experience a uniquely debilitating form of shame that paints them as failures to uphold certain standards of hegemonic masculinity. Implications for both research and practice are discussed.

Publication Type:	Article
Additional Information:	© Author 2026. This is the accepted manuscript of an article published by Bristol University Press. Please refer to the publisher’s terms and conditions for information on re-use.
Publisher Keywords:	queerness; shame; stigma; intimate partner violence; digital methods
Subjects:	H Social Sciences > H Social Sciences (General) H Social Sciences > HM Sociology
Departments:	School of Policy & Global Affairs School of Policy & Global Affairs > Department of Sociology & Criminology
SWORD Depositor:	Symplectic Administrator

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